On Difficulty

I've noticed that nowadays people seem to be really hung up on difficulty. When someone is given advice or criticism (good or bad) or a plan of action, etc., the first response tends to be something along the lines of, "well it's not that easy" or "that's really difficult." And I've always struggled to understand what the person is actually trying to communicate by responding this way.

This may not be other people's intention, but I honestly don't think ease really matters outside of trying to find efficient solutions. Some things are just plain difficult and even though there is definitely a benefit to acknowledging that fact, whatever "it" is still needs to be done in order to achieve one's goal(s). I feel like it’s fairly obvious that if something was easy then one would just do what was needed without much thought. Ease is so relative that it seems nearly moot unless the person is asking for solutions for the difficulty in and of itself.

It is quite possible that in such scenarios my pragmatic outlook isn't well suited to providing the kind of support one may be seeking in the moment. It's also possible that I am fundamentally missing a key component for truly understanding what the other person is trying to communicate.

Perhaps the person is actually trying to ask for active support during their journey? Or verbal acknowledgement that what they need to do is difficult? Perhaps the difficulty isn't actually the point, but perhaps there is an underly and uncommunicated fear attached to the goal or issue in question? I have not been able to gather actual feedback so it could also be none of these things and I'm blindly guessing at this point.

Another interesting thing I've encountered when this comes up in conversation is, when I'm specifically asked about what I would do in the situation, expressing what I would do is often met with similar phrases such as, "well not everyone can do that" or "not everyone has the same resources as you." This has always baffled me. Of course not everyone has the same circumstances as me, that's why it's my viewpoint. If you want to talk about someone else then why ask about my personal view about my personal situation? I just don't understand what is trying to be communicated with these deflections and “whataboutisms”. In my mind we're both trying to solve an issue and this line of thought just seems really unnecessary and not helpful to focus on.

I definitely acknowledge that I am almost certainly missing something vital in these situations. Trying to have discussions about this is quite difficult and solo research is slow going, but I feel it's necessary for me to educate myself on this so that I can more effectively help myself and others in the future.