On Introspection
People enjoy comfort. When a person is comfortable they are able to relax. They are able to follow their whims without worry or restraint. A person’s natural inclination is to always go towards comfort. When that comfort is threatened, however, the instinct is to move towards a defensive posture. Whether real or imagined, if a person believes their comfort is at risk they will naturally employ whatever defense mechanisms at their disposal to prevent the breach to their tranquility. This reaction, honed over millennia, is what has allowed the human race to survive and thrive. This reaction, honed over millennia, is also one of the greatest barriers people face in pursuit of growth.
I have noticed throughout my observations that people are not very purposefully introspective. Everyone goes through times of introspection, sure, but from those I’ve spoken to this is very rarely a self determined exercise. By this I mean that something has happened within that person’s life which has forced, in a way, their need to go down a reflective path in order to come to terms with what has happened. Of course, there are a multitude of reasons why someone wouldn’t want to engage in introspection, but I have also found that some people don’t seem to know what it means to be introspective or how the practice can help them grow as a person.
What is Introspection?
Introspection is, as defined by most dictionaries, “the examination or observation of one's own mental and emotional processes.” In essence, when one introspects they are looking inward not only to discover, but understand how they view themselves and the world and, most importantly, why they hold those views. It's simply the act of getting to know yourself.
For example, do you know why you like the music that you like? How about the reasons why you chose to continue school or take a job? Do you know what your core beliefs are? What about your political views? Your morals? Would you consider yourself to be caring? Since forming your initial beliefs, values, and other views have you ever asked yourself why you formed those views in the first place? If they are still valid? Have you ever asked yourself if your views are helpful or harmful to yourself or others? Do you like yourself?
These are all things that an introspective person may ponder at one point or another while learning about themselves. It’s while thinking about the answers to questions like the ones above that the introduction of this paper comes into play. These are potentially very uncomfortable questions to ask oneself. While there are no wrong answers per se, some may not like what they find when they dive into themselves in this way.
The defense mechanisms come out in force to protect the self from potentially uncomfortable truths that the person may not be prepared to face. Some will give non-specific or base level answers. Some will flat out refuse to entertain the questions at all. Some may tell themselves that it’s a stupid exercise, that they already know the answers to all these questions, that they are just fine the way they are now… This may all be true. But if this is the case, I always wonder, why not go ahead and answer the question(s)?
Introspection is a solitary endeavor. By its very nature you hold all the power since it’s something you do in the privacy of your own mind away from the knowledge or judgement of others. So, unless you choose to share your views, no one will ever know what you hold inside. Whatever insights you find within yourself are yours to do with what you will. This is an exercise designed to give clarity, meaning, and ultimately solidarity to your own agency as a person.
Why Practice Being Introspective
You know the feeling of understanding something on such a fundamental level that it becomes very difficult for someone to change your mind about the subject? You know it so well that when you’re shown “evidence” to the contrary you’re able to refute it because your level of understanding is so deep and rich with information regarding the subject that you’ve come to know every fact about it. Introspection allows you to do the same with yourself. It helps you to understand yourself down to your very core.
There are people who appear to be heavily influenced by outside entities. Parents, friends, significant others, coworkers, society at large, and “the internet” to name just a few. Everyone is influenced by things outside their being but there are some who are much more susceptible to the pressures of these forces. They tend to give much more weight to these outside influences than they should. Sometimes they do this to such a level that they can end up relying on an “other” to form their opinions and guide them through life. They end up absorbing the thoughts, feelings, and morals of this “other” and in turn they can get to the point where they’re in danger of losing themselves to whatever ideologies have been shown to them. When this happens, their own worth and the worth of others are no longer determined by their own values but by whatever the “other” feeds them. By giving up control of their belief systems they in turn give up control of themselves.
Understand that this paper is not meant to preach or warn you against the dangers of the internet or to be dubious of your eccentric neighbors. It’s actually very good practice to expose yourself to all sorts of different people and cultures and schools of thought. That being said you should have, and practice, the ability to scrutinize whatever gets presented to you. The ability to investigate each new idea or advertisement or bit of gossip and only adopting the things that fit your personal morals is how you stay true to your core values and beliefs. And the ability to allow your beliefs and values to evolve over time as you learn more about yourself and the world will help you become the best version of yourself.
As mentioned before, the goal of introspection is to learn about yourself on the deepest of levels. It’s a mental exercise based around asking probing questions and learning the truth of what makes you tick by exploring the depths of your mental makeup. Also, as mentioned before, when performed with the right mindset, introspection can lead to unrivaled personal insight, growth and strength of character. It can bring about a profound sense of self that is sourced from within rather than relying upon outside influences.
How to be Introspective
Patience
The bedrock of introspection is patience as this is not a quick process. This exercise requires careful deliberation and caution. It requires you to sit with your thoughts for long periods of time. Letting ideas marinate in your mind while you ponder every side of them. During these exercises you’re meant to follow every conceivable path an idea can take you down. The highest of highs and lowest of lows in regards to the idea’s meanings and consequences. Every avenue is to be explored and every stone upturned. The goal is thoroughness in every sense of the word.
This endeavor can last for weeks, months, and even years. In reality it should last as long as you’ve still unanswered questions. It’s not something that needs to haunt you, of course not, but you should have it always lingering in the back of your mind. When you find yourself with a free moment or engaged with some monotonous task that allows your mind to drift, you should call up the idea and continue working through its mysteries and implications. As you learn more about the world and experience life, you may even find yourself revisiting old ideas and notions.
You will also need patience enough to forgive yourself. There will be times where you just need a break. You’ll need to be able to forgive yourself in times of frustration, exhaustion, and laziness. Allow yourself comfortable pacing throughout this process. There are no deadlines or quotas. Slow and steady will get you through and serve you better in the long run.
Honesty
The first level of introspection is honesty. If you can’t be honest with yourself, frankly, this exercise will do you no good. In the case of introspection, you simply cannot move forward with dishonesty holding you down. Honesty is the key that unlocks the door to the higher levels of introspection where true growth and understanding is cultivated. Lower your defenses and have the courage to face yourself unreserved as well as the resolve to do whatever is necessary to evolve and thrive.
This is arguably the most uncomfortable part of this exercise. Facing yourself head on can be scary. Hell, it can be downright terrifying. Some just don’t know who or what will end up staring back at them when they look into the mirror. I understand that this is not always a pain-free process. Some revelations will lead to deep, and potentially dark, emotions. Still, you’ll have to be able to stay your defenses and be completely open with yourself. Remind yourself that the goal is growth and that in order to grow you have to face your truth. Understand that the point of the exercise isn’t to beat yourself up. It can bring up painful truths, yes, but it can also perhaps uncover strengths that you never knew you possessed. This exercise seeks to provide a deep understanding of the self. The whole self.
Be honest about your thought processes, how you evaluate information, how your views shape your thinking. Take note of your biases and habits. Don’t shy away from any prejudices you may hold or other notions for that matter. Stay vigilant with your defenses during this time. Stay honest. Take ownership of yourself and allow yourself to see who you really are. Remember the goal is to see your true self, not to beat yourself up. In order to grow you’ll need to see yourself as you actually are, not how you wish you were or are trying to be.
That being said, unmitigated honesty can definitely do some damage and take a toll which is the main reason that Honesty sits upon the foundation of Patience. You may find that you need to take some time to ease into whatever honest revelation(s) you uncover. Like getting into a hot bath, the suggestion is not to dive head first into boiling water but rather to slowly lower yourself down at a pace that’s comfortable for you. Take what time you need and continue when you’re able. Again, taking things slow and steady will get you through and serve you better in the long run.
Judgement
The second level of introspection is Judgement. To be more accurate it is really more of a trial. This is where you take your idea, statement, feeling, assumption, etc. and hold a type of trial in your head. Or outside your head, it’s your rodeo. This Judgement phase is meant to make or break the case that you are who you say you are, or aren’t. It’s for making sure that you are dealing with exactly what you think you’re dealing with. For making the determination, with supporting evidence, that you do or don’t have a certain tendency or prejudice or view. To make things clear, your character isn’t under the gun here. That will come soon enough. For now, the aim is simply to confirm or deny whatever your focus is on a factual basis.
During this phase you’ll be putting whatever your focus is to the test by bringing supporting evidence for and against what you’re working on at the moment. All of the evidence should be brought to the forefront. Summon all of the past experiences you have and also come up with realistic hypothetical situations if you find your real experience is lacking. A hypothetical situation may provide insight on what you would do if given a certain scenario.
This is the part where no stone left unturned comes into play as well as honesty. You should be as thorough and as honest as possible. Look at all the evidence from multiple points of view. Visualize your actions and reactions being as detailed as you can. Dig as deeply as you dare and then dig deeper. All of the evidence needs to be brought to the forefront and each piece should have its day in court so to speak. You should be careful to only use factual statements and remove emotion from the equation as much as possible. Don’t try to twist words, project your views or emotions, or otherwise distort outcomes. Stay honest. Weigh all of the evidence against each other and judge your focus in a simple true or false manner.
This part of the exercise is important to make sure that you’re dealing with the root of the matter. Going through this you may find that what you thought was an issue, or a strength, is actually a symptom of something deeper. For example, the evidence may tell you that instead of just being shy you are actually suffering PTSD symptoms. It may be that instead of being aggressive you simply struggle to read body language and have a tendency to come off stronger than you realize. And, of course, maybe the evidence confirms that deep down you really are just an extremely selfish person who lacks care for others outside of personal gain.
Negative revelations can lead someone down dark paths. Positive ones can soothe the soul. Remember, this isn’t an exercise hellbent on beating you up over your flaws. The ultimate goal is to understand yourself at your core. If at the end of this process you’re fine with whatever traits or views you hold, you’ll know down to the foundation of your being the reasons why. And if you feel the opposite, you’ll have the starting point for making meaningful changes. I’d like to remind you to have patience and stay honest during this portion of introspection. Take your time with this step and be as careful as possible in your judgement.
Acceptance
The third level of introspection is acceptance. Acceptance is difficult to say the least. Accepting who you are at the present moment, especially if you aren’t in your perceived ideal form, can be a tough pill to swallow. We are our own worst critics and this exercise is meant to highlight the entire self, flaws included.
Everyone has a version of themselves that they feel they should strive for or be at by now. Negative qualities are especially difficult, but there are also positive qualities that some people have trouble accepting. Bizarre, I know, but some people may have been taught that something that is actually a really positive and useful quality makes them weak or naive or stupid. It’s especially in these cases where introspection should shine brightest. Through introspection you’ll be able to dig into those preconceived notions and explore the alternatives to make your own determination about yourself rather than going with what someone else has said about you.
Still, a lot of people struggle with acceptance. I think this is because on some level we’ve associated acceptance with permanence. The popular term, “it is what it is,” is a bit deceptive in that it somewhat implies that whatever “it” is can’t be changed. For this exercise though, the term can be modified to be more accurate: “it is what it is, right now.” The entire goal of this exercise is to come to terms with yourself and ultimately, if desired, change the things you can to make yourself better.
Now this is largely an issue of perception in my experience. There are many people who naturally assume the more accurate term without needing it pointed out to them. We call these people optimists. They naturally go through life finding and improving on the things that they can and are more adept at finding those things in the first place. Pessimists and realists noticeably have trouble in this area and are quick to accept the status quo based on things such as tradition or the government or the like. They also tend to fall into the trap of believing that they don't need to change. They may believe that any worthwhile changes need to occur outside themselves where they have no authority or power to do so and they use that as an excuse to become stagnant in their own ways.
There is also an issue with comfort and fear. Sometimes it’s more comfortable, if frustrating, to let the current way of things just be and not try to change. It’s tempting to do this because there is comfort in the familiar and there is fear in uncertainty. Change can be difficult and usually is quite uncomfortable. There’s nearly always a level of uncertainty that comes with change as well because of unknowns that can happen during the change that affect the outcome. Of course there are ways to guard against unforeseen circumstances, but some will use the very possibility of failure as a reason not to try and change something in the first place.
So throughout this part of the exercise, try to keep the more accurate term in mind and accept that you are the way you are, right now. The higher levels will help you to see possibilities for yourself when it comes time to take action.
Critique
The fourth level of introspection is Critique. This is the part of the exercise that many people are prone to jump to or think about when they think of introspection. As you can see there are a lot of things that come before getting to this step that set the foundation for this portion of the exercise. Jumping straight to Critique is like skipping the instruction manual. You could probably get through it alright and maybe even have some success. However, it isn’t likely to be as fulfilling, thorough, or teach you very much about yourself. Unless you were trying to highlight your lack of patience and propensity towards masochism.
From what I’ve gathered through observing people there is a very negative view of criticizing or receiving any kind of criticism. This is to be expected. It makes sense, of course, not many want to be told that they’ve done something wrong or that something about you is lacking. People can develop genuine fears surrounding being criticized regardless of the reason. It’s a pretty universal feeling I think. I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t have at least a little reservation about being criticized. Even those who welcome criticism still tend to have a small part of them wishing that nothing too bad comes up. Criticism, however, can be a very powerful tool when we view it with a growth mindset.
When we’re trying to grow, we need to be critical of ourselves to know what to work on. Sure, you can work to improve the things you’re already good at, but what do you do when you’ve mastered everything else? It can be dangerous to work on just one or a couple of sides of yourself and leave the rest stagnant or decaying. Most things in life are very much use it or lose it. Criticism illuminates the parts of ourselves that have the most potential for growth. That is powerful. If you can identify areas of yourself or your life that need the most help then any positive change in that area will yield disproportionately large rewards.
Now, this step isn’t just about highlighting your worst qualities. It’s also about aligning your actions, habits, and thoughts to your core beliefs, values, and morals. What may be perfectly fine to one person is two steps removed from Hades’ front gates to another. When our behaviors are misaligned with our values we begin to lose ourselves. It may start with compromise, but if it’s not corrected it can lead to one turning to various and potentially awful coping mechanisms. Terrible things such as mental breakdowns, substance abuse or other addictions, and unfortunately suicide are not unheard of.
There are two types of criticism. The first is meant to harm or tear down the person receiving the abuse. This has no value beyond letting the person being “critiqued” know that they need to remove the criticizer from their lives expeditiously. This type of criticism is nothing more than thinly veiled bullying, if that. Since this is a mental exercise, I encourage you to seek help if you find yourself leaning towards giving yourself this type of criticism. You shouldn’t take that kind of talk even from yourself. Note that it can be difficult to figure out which type of criticism you’re receiving if the person giving the message is less than eloquent in their delivery.
The second type of criticism is meant to be helpful and productive for the person receiving the criticism. Again, have patience with yourself during this step in the process. You’ve gone through a lot of work already to get to this point so there’s no need to rush now. I will also remind you to stay honest. There may be a lot of temptation to downplay and save face with yourself. This is a defense mechanism. Lower your guard and allow yourself to be as you are now.
As mentioned earlier, the goal of Critique is to see how your actions, thoughts, and habits align to your core beliefs, morals, and values. In this way Critique is similar to Judgement. Judgement is meant to use cold hard facts to provide a true or false. Critique takes that same focus question or statement and determines good or bad based on your personal beliefs and values.
So, think of how your revelations impact you and how they align to your values. For example, if you hold the belief that people should be treated equally and your past actions show otherwise, that should tell you something. If you value cooperation but you find yourself being unhelpful or playing the lone wolf a lot, that should tell you something. If you morally cannot abide bullying and you’ve consistently stood up for victims of bullying, that should tell you something.
That is something to consider during this step. Your values may have changed or shifted. Going back to the previous examples, if you don’t really mind that you aren’t as inclusive as you believed yourself to be then maybe you don’t hold that belief anymore. That’s something to be explored. It goes both ways as well. Maybe before you didn’t really care about those being bullied but now you can’t stand it. People tend to naturally change over time. Sometimes it happens so gradually that it takes you by surprise once you look inward after some time has passed. You gain some experience or meet some different people or just move to a different place and all of a sudden you start believing or valuing different things. There is a lot that can come up while being introspective.
If you don’t know what your values are then try going off of feeling. For example, let’s say that your judgement determined that you are an incredibly selfish person. How do you feel when you think about that statement? Are you sad, angry, gleeful, or something else? Explore as long as you need. Understand that we aren’t just looking for negatives here. We are doing self confirmation checks to see how things are still doing within ourselves and if things need to be adjusted. If things don’t need adjusting then congratulations! Give yourself a clean bill of spiritual health and be sure to pencil in your next check up in your calendar.
You should take the time to work out your true beliefs, values, and feelings. Of course, you may find that your actions do in fact align with your values, but perhaps not as well. This is a good discovery! It means that you’re acting in a way that’s true to your values, but you still need some practice or instruction to take it to the next level. This portion of the exercise can be difficult but well worth it to know without a doubt so that you can take action if needed. If action is in fact needed then the rest of this guide should help you take the next steps towards positive change.
Determination
Now that you’ve made it through each level of introspection it’s time to make a determination with the insights you’ve gathered during the process. Although this step can go quickly, I urge you not to rush to a conclusion. Try to take just as much care during this step to make sure that you’re staying honest and focusing on what matters.
The goal with determination is to decide on what needs to be done about your revelations gained throughout this exercise. This can be something small such as improving on a skill or something bigger such as seeking outside help or cutting off a toxic relationship and anything in between. Whatever the case, a determination should be made during this step of the process. Again, this step sounds fairly easy. You just make a decision about next steps or goals and you’re done. Nice and simple except when it’s not. Some people will discover during this portion of the exercise that they have a mental block when it comes to making decisions. They just can’t do it for one reason or another. This is also a defense mechanism that is, usually, rooted in the fear of failure.
Of course there are many legitimate reasons that people fear failure, but usually the fear is somewhat overinflated. Just like acceptance, a lot of people associate failure with permanence. Failure doesn’t always result in permanence. Actually, more often than not, failure is a starting point for growth. Typically, one only truly fails when they’ve given up. This is a mistake that I see a lot of people doing is giving up after a failure. That comes back to people loving comfort. It can be uncomfortable to fail and many people have a natural aversion to it. But if they can push through the discomfort there is greater opportunity for growth than if they stuck only to things they’re certain about. Also, learning to be realistic about the consequences of failure and not catastrophizing it will guard against downward spirals when failure occurs in the future. Nobody goes through life without at least some failure, but those that have avoided failure at all costs have a very difficult road ahead of them when failure inevitably happens.
If you’re having trouble making a decision then I encourage you to find multiple options. This is by far the best way I’ve seen to combat anxiety surrounding making decisions. The more options you can identify the more confident you can be in making a choice because there are other paths you can change course to if things go badly.
For example, say that during this exercise you figure out that your actions towards dogs don’t always align with your belief that generally animals should be treated with a base level of kindness. What can be done about this? During the exercise you’ve already identified that your treatment towards dogs wasn’t caused by something that the dog did. You would have caught that during the Judgement and Critique portions of this exercise if that were the case.
No, at this point you know without a doubt that there is something about the way that you view dogs that makes it difficult for you to treat them on the same level that you treat other animals. So what can be done about this? There are loads of options here. You could simply resolve to be more conscientious about how you interact with dogs. You could go through this exercise again to try and determine if you may have unresolved trauma related to dogs. You could seek counseling or simply resolve to interact with more dogs. Especially if it’s a case of just not having much exposure to them while you were growing up.
As you can see, there are usually multiple ways to tackle these things. I encourage you not to shy away from growth. Lean into the discomfort and make the effort to do better and continue learning about yourself and the world. I’ll reiterate again that this is a mental exercise so your privacy is protected until, and unless, you decide to open up to others.
My personal recommendation has always been to stay private unless you hit a sufficiently difficult wall that requires you to seek outside help. Of course you may have trusted friends, family, or colleagues whose opinions you value and care about so I’m not saying to close yourself off from the world. I simply mean to try on your own before you seek help. Build self-reliance so that you can be in a better position to help yourself and others in their times of need. Once you have made a decision on what to do it’s time to head to the final step of the process, Revisal.
Revisal
The final step in the introspection exercise is Revisal. So far you should have identified something to focus on, weighed its merit in regards to its truthfulness, figured out how it aligns with your values and beliefs, and determined what, if anything, needs to be done about it. The last thing to do is act on your determination.
Now that you know what you want to do in regards to your focus the only thing left to do is follow your decision(s) made during the last step. Whether that be to take a course, seek counseling, resolve to change habits, or even to just be more conscientious about yourself or others. This is where the rubber meets the road. You should use the insights you’ve gained during this exercise to grow as a person as well as solidify further your views and beliefs.
Even though this is technically the final step in the process, in reality this process should never end. Ideally you should consistently be putting new information and ideas through this exercise. Identify, judge, critique, and make determinations for as many things as you can. Take the time to revisit old ideas and data to see how they hold up to a changed you. Take the time to reflect on how you’ve changed over time and if you’re comfortable in the direction you’ve gone or are heading. This is a powerful skill you now have in your command. So use it! Use it and grow as a person.
